{"id":1999,"date":"2020-10-04T13:11:48","date_gmt":"2020-10-04T10:11:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/zerufim.siach.org.il\/?p=1999"},"modified":"2020-10-04T13:12:46","modified_gmt":"2020-10-04T10:12:46","slug":"in-exile-at-home","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/zerufim.siach.org.il\/en\/in-exile-at-home\/","title":{"rendered":"In Exile, At Home"},"content":{"rendered":"

v<\/span><\/p>\n

After Sukkah 25b<\/em><\/p>\n

The stranger is dressed in a threadbare sports jacket, which looks like it might have come from a second-hand shop, and a dusty black kipah. He strokes his short beard as he walks up and down the rows of graves at the Mt. Herzl military cemetery, stopping for a few beats at each to read the headstone. In the row in front of me he has to detour around t-shirt and shorts-clad twenty-somethings in a Birthright group, listening to a guide I can\u2019t hear. Finally he arrives at the last full row, where I am sitting. The lawn in front of the row waits for new tragedies.<\/p>\n

He nods at me, hugging himself. I nod back. After a moment he speaks.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s cold here in Jerusalem.\u201d<\/p>\n

I shrug. \u201cHere we\u2019re used to the seasons starting to change the week before Rosh Hashanah. You must be from someplace warmer. Tel Aviv?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTiberias. Also Sura.\u201d<\/p>\n

I look at him quizzically. \u201cYou mean the one just west of the Euphrates?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s where I studied.\u201d He holds out his hand. \u201cAbba bar Zabda.\u201d<\/p>\n

I shake it. \u201cHaim,\u201d I say. \u201cI can\u2019t place the name, though. I mean, I\u2019ve studied a bit but I\u2019m hardly a scholar.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes.\u201d He sighs. \u201cMy wife wasn\u2019t pleased at all when she saw the final redaction. \u2018You\u2019re never home,\u2019 she griped, \u2018all day at the house of study, and then when they finally publish, they barely quote you.\u2019 I think it was because I have a knack for saying the wrong thing.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, wait a minute. Now I remember. You\u2019re the one with the vermin in the mikveh, the ritual purifying bath.\u201d<\/p>\n

He smiles and quotes himself: \u201cAs long as a man holds vermin in his hand, he may bathe in all the waters of creation, but he will never be pure.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s a good one,\u201d I tell him. \u201cI use it all the time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI appreciate that.\u201d He points at a vacant plastic stool. \u201cMay I?\u201d<\/p>\n

I motion for him to sit.<\/p>\n

He nods at the grave. \u201cYour son?\u201d<\/p>\n

A cool breeze blows through the cypresses, perfumed by the rosemary growing on the headstone. A pinwheel left by my oldest daughter twirls.<\/p>\n

I nod. Then, after a minute: \u201cI had some time between meetings, so I stopped by.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s good,\u201d he says. \u201cIt is a tradition to visit the graves of loved ones during the month of Elul.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, to steel yourself for another holiday without them,\u201d I reply.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s the hardest part of the holidays?\u201d<\/p>\n

I consider. \u201cMaybe building the sukkah. He used to help me with that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSukkot,\u201d he observes, \u201cis the only holiday on which the Torah explicitly commands us to be happy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI do my best. But it\u2019s not the same.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI might quote Ezekiel.\u201d He looks at me. \u201cThe prophet, I mean.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShoot.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo he also lived by the river of Babylon. Centuries before I went to study there in Rav\u2019s academy. Ezekiel had a wife he loved dearly, and the Holy One, Blessed Be He, told him: \u2018Son of Man, behold, I am about to take the light of your eyes suddenly. But do not mourn or weep.\u2019 Put on your best clothes, spruce up your beard, and go about your business as if nothing happened. You, said God, will be a living symbol of the promise of redemption. Your people, living in exile, despair of redemption. I want them to look beyond their sorrow and loss toward My promise that I will return them to their land. By going on with your life normally despite the blow you have suffered, you will show them that they, too, must live as best they can, looking to the future and not to the past.\u201d<\/p>\n

I grimace. \u201cPerhaps a prophet needs to be a public symbol. But I am not going to not mourn my son.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow you may wonder what this has to do with building a sukkah,\u201d Abba Bar Zabda says. He looks up and notices a clutch of Birthrighters listening in. \u201cThat\u2019s the holiday that begins on the fifteenth day of Tishrei, five days after Yom Kippur,\u201d he explains to them. \u201cAccording to the Torah, Jews are commanded to leave their homes on this day and spend seven days living in a ramshackle hut, like the ones our ancestors lived in during their forty-year sojourn in the wilderness.\u201d<\/p>\n

The American kids smile politely and whisper among themselves.<\/p>\n

\u201cRight, right,\u201d I say. \u201cGet to the point.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow we might ask,\u201d he continues, clasping his hands together in his lap, \u201cwhether this law is incumbent on everybody, or whether in some cases one might be exempt. For example, is a mourner required to spend seven days in a sukkah if the holiday coincides with his seven days of mourning? And must a bridegroom spend seven days in a sukkah if it coincides with his seven days of rejoicing with his bride following his wedding?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou have a thing about sevens?\u201d asks a blond Birthrighter with a Texas accent.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot me. The Creator.\u201d Abba Bar Zabda thinks a moment. \u201cThat\u2019s a good question, though. Why seven? Why not eight, or six? Is it just random, or is there a reason?\u201d<\/p>\n

The boy looks around at his companions and laughs. \u201cI didn\u2019t mean for you to take it so seriously!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou mean,\u201d I suggest, \u201cthat a mourner is too wrapped up in his sorrow to rejoice in the sukkah.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRight. Now, my teacher, Rav, who was the strict type, said that mourners must observe all the precepts in the Torah except for putting on tefillin.\u201d The rabbi looks up at the young people. \u201cThese things we strap onto our arms and heads when we pray. But then he also said that a person who suffers in the sukkah\u2014I mean, if it\u2019s raining, or cold, or there\u2019s a bad smell\u2014can eat and sleep in his home. What are we to make of this contradiction?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess if it\u2019s raining you can\u2019t do much about it,\u201d the Texan suggests.<\/p>\n

\u201cVery good,\u201d says bar Zabda.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut that assumes a mourner is capable, by an act of will, of not suffering!\u201d I object.<\/p>\n

\u201cRav said that the mourner must compose his mind,\u201d the Tiberian says. \u201cI\u2019m not saying that I agree with him, I\u2019m just reporting what he said. Now, what about the case of a bridegroom? He has an obligation to rejoice, so why shouldn\u2019t he do so in the sukkah?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDepends how big the sukkah is,\u201d says the Texan. \u201cHow big can it be? Can you fit a whole wedding banquet in?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe the party isn\u2019t what was worrying Rav,\u201d I suggest.<\/p>\n

\u201cQuite possibly,\u201d agrees bar Zabda. \u201cCertainly other scholars thought so. Abaye, for example, thought it was an issue of privacy, whereas Rabbah was worried about the bridegroom\u2019s discomfort.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPrivacy? At a wedding?\u201d asks the Texan.<\/p>\n

\u201cAt a traditional Jewish wedding,\u201d the Tiberian explains patiently, \u201cthe groom and bride retire, immediately following the ceremony, to a private room. I realize this may seem quaint today, but in my day this would be the first time they were ever alone together. And the expectation is that they would\u2014and should\u2014take advantage of the opportunity to consummate their love.\u201d<\/p>\n

The Texan guffaws. \u201cWhile everyone else is partying?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAbaye was concerned that the groom might need to step outside,\u201d bar Zabda expounds. \u201cYou know, he\u2019s nervous and his bladder might act up. And a sukkah is open and often built on a street or in a courtyard. Some other man could slip inside and compromise the bride.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot if she doesn\u2019t want to be compromised,\u201d says the Texan.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe appearance of impropriety is no less problematic than impropriety itself,\u201d bar Zabda reminds him.<\/p>\n

I consider. \u201cRabbah,\u201d I say, \u201cmust have been concerned that the nervous bridegroom might have trouble performing if he was worried that someone could walk in on them any time. Odd, however, that he doesn\u2019t consider how the bride might be feeling.\u201d<\/p>\n

Bar Zabda shrugs. \u201cI admit, back in the third century, we all had trouble seeing things from a woman\u2019s point of view. But certainly the bride would not find the sukkah a congenial place to be alone ?with her husband.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo what\u2019s the conclusion?\u201d I ask. The other Birthrighters have drifted off by now, but the Texan is still standing by us, listening.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat the problem of privacy is not sufficient to cancel the obligation for the groom to observe the precept of sitting in the sukkah, but the problem of discomfort is.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo, in short,\u201d I say, \u201ca mourner is expected to collect himself and rejoice in the sukkah, while a bridegroom, who is rejoicing anyway, is given a break. Sounds counterintuitive to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll mixed up,\u201d the Texan echoes.<\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s go back to God\u2019s commandment to Ezekiel,\u201d bar Zabda suggests. \u201cThere, mourning is equated with exile. Ezekiel is commanded not to mourn his wife\u2019s death publicly, not to observe the rituals that make him look to others like a mourner. This is meant to be an example to the Jews in Babylonia, who are to live their lives and go about their business as if they had not been forcibly deported from their homeland.\u201d<\/p>\n

I consider a minute. \u201cA sukkah, too, is a form of exile. You\u2019re forced to leave your house and live in a rickety structure exposed to the elements.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYet in the sukkah we rejoice,\u201d bar Zabda says, encouraging me. He looks up at the Texan. \u201cMaybe you can take that a little further?\u201d<\/p>\n

The boy ponders. \u201cI\u2019m not sure, but maybe\u2014the bridegroom is moving in the opposite direction, leaving the exile of being alone in the world? He\u2019s actually going into his permanent home?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot that I always understand the record of my respected colleagues\u2019 discussions,\u201d says bar Zabda. \u201cThe Talmud was not edited according to modern standards. But I think you are getting at something.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA bride and groom do not need to be commanded to rejoice,\u201d I propose. \u201cA mourner needs the commandment. Otherwise he will stay forever in exile and never be open to redemption.\u201d<\/p>\n

The Texan looks around for his friends. \u201cSorry, I gotta go.\u201d<\/p>\n

Bar Zabda holds up his hand, his thumb touching the tip of his forefinger. \u201cWe\u2019re almost done. They\u2019ll wait for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

I glance at my son\u2019s grave. \u201cIt\u2019s not going to be easy. Isn\u2019t rejoicing when you\u2019ve lost a child like dipping in a mikveh with vermin in your hand? You can never get clean?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI would say that, in this case, you need to hold fast and immerse yourself anyway,\u201d bar Zabda says.<\/p>\n

\u201cWow,\u201d the Texan says. Bar Zabda nods at him, and goes off to seek his group. But he looks back once, then twice, on his way.<\/p>\n

We listen again to the breeze.<\/p>\n

\u201cOk, I\u2019ll do my best.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGlad I could be of help.\u201d bar Zabda gets up. \u201cI should get going or I will miss my bus home. Have a good year, the best it can be.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"A story, inspired by Rav Shagar’s teachings, about whether one can both mourn and rejoice in the Sukkah. 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